Pick me up before you go go

Breakfast today, nescafe tarik and nasi lemak. Fspace has really good quality coffee but on some mornings, dump those illy stuff. It's nescafe tarik that is a perfect little pick me up before the weight of the day straddles.
Xxx
working on grants, proposals, more proposals. But I like mornings. There is promise in mornings, the flourishing of possibilities and inner goddess- ness. There is so much love and light. Why does it dissipate as the day wanes I wonder. And then night, bitter, enervating and suffocating with the impossibility of it all.

J

Rambling

I need to learn how to do mobile blogging - I figure thatwill mean more posts and I actually at this stage of life, overwhelmed by crossroads, the need for an outlet to vent is critical.

Latest addiction- gummy bears. I claim to buy it for sprong but end up hogging it!

Sprong and Wispy have increased their funny quotinent but at the same time trebled the ability to annoy me.

I am kind of drifting at the moment. All this aimless rambling is making me fairly miserable but at the same time, I think I like the idea of nowhere land funnily. It's decision making and having decided that's scary.

we are the sum of choices made, roads taken, lives lived

I am fairly whiny today. All sore throaty and fluey and dripping in self pity.

I need to get something moving. The current pace is enervating. I feel like I am doing another PhD again with all this developmental stuff. The problem is in life, you can only do one such super duper exhausting project like that. So when it is the next mother-of- all projects that's potentially going to consume the latter part of my 30s, I am feeling a bit lethargic.

But we make choices. And I've always choosed to push myself in directions beyond beyond. A good friend noticed that my drive is not that I am attached to achivement in any sense. I don't define myself by what I have achieved. In fact, I have a very 'all that is kismet' approach to it all but actually I am just driven. For the sake of being driven.

And I think that's so true.

Bedtime reading

So, Sprong's bedtime list currently consists of The Wizard of Oz (he calls it Dorothy and the Tornodo) and The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe (I made the evil witch fairly benign - don't want to traumatise his 3 year old mind).

By 10, he is going to understand the nuances of Anna Karenina. Would I have done anything lesser? Me, being myself and having now read Amy Chua's Battle Hym of the Tiger Mom, bring it on I say.

If only Sprong and Wispy knew what's in store for them. Yeehah.