work, work, work

Why do I find it so hard to take a break ? In fact, when did I last take a real break- you know, even if physically you go somewhere else, it must at the mental level. I find that once I scale a particular project/issue/job, I need to do something else, bigger, better and more dramatic. Once this is done, move on to another. Repeat as nauseam.

Why is it surprisng then that I am mentally so, so, so exhausted????

"Our culture invariably supposes that action and accomplishment is better
than rest, that doing something--anything--is better than doing nothing. Because
of our desire to succeed, to meet these ever-growing expectations, we do not
rest. Because we do not rest, we lose our way. We miss the compass points that
would show us where to go, we bypass the nourishment that would give us succor.
We miss the quiet that would give us wisdom. We miss the joy and love born of
effortless delight. Poisoned by this hypnotic belief that good things come only
through unceasing determination and tireless effort, we can never truly rest.
And for want of rest, our lives are in danger."
Wayne Muller, Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives

A Loss

My aunt passed away last week. A tumour had eaten into her voice box and a heart vessel ruptured during the surgery. My mother collapsed when she collected the butchered body of her sister.

I wasn't particularly close to this Aunt but found that I was affected nevertheless- I had grown up always knowing her so felt some semblance of grief. The thing that struck me was as a family, we needed to cling together in facing our loss.

The communal grieving process was a coping mechanism for us and the Hindu ceremonies that ensued provided some kind of organized system to the inner chaos that we all felt. These were the necessary processes that have helped us manage.