Friday, August 25, 2006

Manglish Speaklah

My parents flew back to KL a few days ago. There's a sudden hush around the house. I call my mother. 'The house is really quiet', I mumble. There's a pause. And then she says, 'now you know how I feel when all of you leave'.


I had fun playing tourist guide, this being their first trip here. I had warned them about a few things. Girls will sunbathe in bikinis in the park. They sell condoms in public toilets. Do not accidentally enter sex shops, you may be traumatised for life. Better still, just don't go to Soho. I managed to shield them from a few things: Big Brother, the Sun Page 3, haggis, the thick haze of hash in Camden market.

Their favourite grocery outlet was Hoo Hing for all things Malaysian. Got taugeh and kaya summore okay. Everything Malaysian was of course superior.
Why the tube clanging all the time? Not at all smooth like the LRT.
You travel on this all the time?
If you stay in KL you can drive around, you know? Germs I tell you, all this public transport.

Again, everything in Malaysia feels, looks and tastes better too: the chicken, the prawn, the fish, the okra, the long beans. Exception made for tomatoes, cauliflower, mushrooms. Sandwich for lunch? You mean you eat bread for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Never heard of such a thing.

Wales, ah? A bit like Cameron Highlands, what? The country idyll merely reminded my dad of Kuala Kubu Baru (can you imagine?). Plus, fed on years of finest East Coast white sand washed beaches, they turned their noses when assaulted by the pebble beaches.

Canary Wharf like KL city centre only. East Ham, a bit like Brickfields but Brickfields better. Cleaner summore. Greenwich market? Like Bangsar pasar malamlah.

Okay. I get it. Next time, UK pergi Ulu Klang saja.


Blabarella said...

Parents - aren't they priceless?? We can show them all the beauties the world has to offer, but if they've already outlined their utopias, then we could well bring 7th heaven down from up there and still they'd go 'tsk tsk'. How you been, missie? *hugs*

Anonymous said...

hahaha! I like the way you wrote this! a touch of Malaysian... ;)

GFAD said...

Hmm..I do know homecooked bak kut teh and Maggi assam laksa doesn't taste as good when cooked in London..must be the water. But everything else I like...even enjoyed taking the public transport, don't have to run for the bus as another one would come soon!

Sunrayz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sunrayz said...

Wow, so many posts! Have written an email to you -check please.
Are you having a nice bank holiday weekend?

Jane Sunshine said...

Blabs: Yes, priceless is right. At the end of the day, after all the bickering and rows, they are parents and we love them.

May: Yeah.

Ka..t: Maggi asam laksa doesnt taste as good? Well, what choice do I have. On cold, miserable days, its maggi assam laksa!

Sunrayz: Yeah, I am weird like that-I dont write for a while and then flood the blog with drivel. I am nursing a nasty migraine while M has been feverish this whole weekend. Overall, a very blah bank holiday.
Will reply to email soon.


bibliobibuli said...

this was so funny! invite them back becasue i want to know their opinions about everything british!

(am sending it to my sister who was here in malaysia and doing the culture shock thing in reverse)

UglyButAdorable said...

east ham like brickfields...eemm..ya la..never thot of that..but better of course..with sripaandi around the corner and all...:)